I hate being sad. I’m always happy, so I need to not let people hold control of my happiness.

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

Being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the wrong ones.

Message to my ex: let’s face it sweetie, you can go through a thousand girls to try to replace me but none of them will treat you like I did.

Message to my ex: I see that new chick you’re with…. You could do better.

Message to my ex: Roses are Red Violets are Blue So glad I finally realized I’m better off without you!!

Message to my ex: thank you for showing me exactly what I don’t want in a person.

My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat…

Frustrated because I can’t tell if it’s real. Mad because I don’t know how you feel. Upset because we can’t make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won’t take my hand. Aggravated because you don’t understand. Disappointed because we can’t be together, but still I’ll love you forever.

You know it’s a bad day when your blind date is your ex-husband.

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again.

My ex husband is my only weakness. When he tells me he loves me my heart melts.

My Ex-Husband is the BEST husband !

Who says that I am a bad house keeper, I kept all the houses of my ex-husbands.

I saw my ex-husband in the street. I was sitting on the steps of the new library. Hello, my life, I said. We had once been married for twenty-seven years, so I felt justified. He said, What? What life? No life of mine.

I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.

He’s my favorite ex-husband. We get along great. I love to fish, and he has some beautiful property down there.

The awkward moment when an ex-boyfriend tries to add you on Facebook.