Divorce is like cutting off a gangrened arm to save the rest of the body.

I doubt if there is one married person on Earth who can be objective about divorce. It is always a threat, admittedly or not, and such a dire threat that it is almost a dirty word.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That’s what happens when you haven’t been home in eighteen years.

Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

The easiest way to get a divorce is to be married.

The snag about marriage is, it isn’t worth the divorce.

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks but a divorce is something you always have.

Why did we divorce? I guess you could say we had trouble synchronizing. You know that carnival ride where two cages swing in opposite directions, going higher and higher until they go over the top? That was us. We passed each other all the time, but we never actually stopped in the same place until it was time to get off the ride.

Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock

Nobody ever died of divorce.

The obvious effect of frivolous divorce will be frivolous marriage. If people can be separated for no reason they will feel it all the easier to be united for no reason. Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.

I harbor ill feelings toward a society, and a clergy, that allows marriage partners to split over the smallest incompatibility, where divorce comes in a multitude of flavors, like Baskin Robbins ice cream, where men and women can blame one another and everything except themselves for matrimony’s mess. They look for externals over which they have no control and, fingering them, take no responsibility.

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.

The power of divorce can be given only to those who feel the inconveniences of marriage, and who are sensible of the moment when it is for their interest to make them cease.

They ought to do away with divorce settlements. Instead, both parties should flip a coin. The winner gets to stay where he or she is and keep everything. The loser goes to Paraguay.

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.

A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage.

The real wonder is that anyone stays together, as impossible to live with and as broken as we all are.